Why do we overplay the negatives and ignore the positives?

We have a habit of only seeing the evidence that supports our view of the world.  When stuff happens we can focus on the bits that help us to confirm what we already believe, regardless of how much the evidence is stacked against us.  When this perspective collides with unhelpful beliefs or negative self-image, then we start to Discount The Positives, another common thinking error that many of us do from time to time.

In this episode, Graham and Paul explore how this trait that starts off sounding like humility can quickly undermine our own self-confidence and lead to us believing our success is luck while our failures represent our own inadequacies.  A sports star who puts their win down to their opponent’s bad day, or a salesperson who believes their current run of luck is down to market conditions misses the point, that while we can all be lucky, the hard work learning and practicing, as well as showing up each day and putting in the graft, was most likely behind all of that so called luck!

What causes us to blame ourselves (or others)?

As we continue to explore the common thinking errors, the little trip-ups in the way that we think, our episode this time explores Personalisation. Personalisation happens when we blame ourselves for things that are really outside our control. We did not plan this episode for our Christmas one, but what a lucky coincidence, as you may experience a little of this over the next few days, so it might be worth understanding what is going on.

Graham and Paul dig into what causes us to take the normal to and fro of life and sometimes find meaning and slight on ourselves that was never there, or a least never intended in that way. How criticism of a project or piece of work can feel like criticism of us, or the people around you laughing are almost certainly not laughing at you.

So this Christmas break, the weather is not down to you, and unless you really are one of the few people who decide what is going to be shown on the telly, the fact that there are 200 channels and nothing on, well, that is not your fault either!

Why should things be a certain way?

One of the common thinking errors we encounter revolves around ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements that we say to ourselves, creating high demands on how the world needs to be, when the world has not agreed to our demands. Often, we don’t need to operate anywhere near that level to be successful.

If you carry around the invisible rule book of your own standards, ticking off each day where you fail to live up to impossible expectations, and the world conspires to frustrate you. This podcast in our series on thinking errors will be of interest. Richard and Graham explore how, by changing should to could, and I must to I would prefer it if, we can give ourselves more scope to move forward in an uncertain world.

Why do we sometimes make up the facts?

As we continue our series of podcasts on common thinking errors, in this podcast, Ricky and Richard make up stuff. Well, to be honest, I just made that up because this is a great podcast and I was not part of it! This is emotional reasoning, and if you listen to this podcast, they will introduce you to this common thinking error that we can all make from time to time.

Emotional Reasoning is where our mind mixes up who we feel about something (or someone) and the supporting facts about that situation or person. If you have ever had a bad meeting and started to think that represents the capability of your team, or decided that a new project that is all new and sexy, but has very little detail, is bound to be better than the current project, where you understand all of the complexity and issues, you have fallen prey to emotional reasoning. Listen in while Ricky and Rich help you take back control and see things as they are, not how they feel…

Why do we jump to conclusions?

As we continue our series on common Thinking Errors, this episode considers the way that sometimes we jump to conclusions with minimal evidence and no facts.

Ricky and Paul explore the different ways we see this playing out, taking examples from sport where commentators take stats from 20 years ago to tell us who is going to win, without anyone pointing out that there are very few sportspeople who were playing 20 years ago playing today, so it is not the same team!

If you are prone to making leaps in your logic, jumping to conclusions that don’t help you or move you forward, ask yourself when you do have a conclusion;

  • Where is the Evidence? 
  • What Alternative explanations might there be?
  • What are the Implications of this?
  • How Useful is this line of thinking?

These four vowels (E A I U) prevent you from getting to Ohh, I got that wrong.

Why do we filter out all the good stuff?

If you have ever had one bad thing happen, and suddenly cannot remember everything good that happened before, then this podcast is for you.  In this episode, Graham asks Paul about he common thinking error, Mental Filtering.   

Our brains are designed to sort through all of the information presented to us quickly and then focus on the areas that present danger or risk.  It is doing its primary job of keeping us alive long enough to pass on our genes!  Yet, in a modern world, we are not really at risk, so occasionally this amazing trick backfires and makes us hyper-focused on the challenge as if it is life and death, without adding the context of everything else that is going on.

Paul and Graham discuss why this happens, and most importantly, how you can bring balance and perspective back into your thoughts, to allow you to see problems and challenges for what they are, and remember all of the experience you are bringing to them.

Why do we often assume the worst case scenario?

In our series on thinking errors, this podcast explores catastrophising, with Richard and Graham sharing their own personal experience of this cognitive trick our mind can play, as well as examining why it happens and how to deal with it.

If you have ever turned a paper cut into a medical emergency, or a problem at work starts to feel like the first step toward unemployability, then this podcast will help you understand how this simple mental defensive mechanism can easily shift from our best friend to an unhelpful foe.